Sock Hop

Few task are as satisfying as sorting through a pile of unmatched socks. When the pile is as large and varied as the one I sorted for my friend Shay today, the rewards are duely magnified.
Do you have a sock drawer? Maybe two small drawers at the top of your dresser? Not so Shay! She has a three drawer storage unit full of such specimens as socks dating back to 10th grade (over 10 years ago), and a dizzying aray of pink and white sport sock, virtually no two of which share the same maker! Hers are not the brown. black, and navy of so many collections. She has stripes, spots, and prints of all sorts!
I'd say that today we threw away 1/3 of her collection; socks in mourning for their partner, socks worn threadbare and hole-y with love. She still has more interesting socks than anyone I know, but she is no longer burdened by carrying around those who have ceased to serve her.
The reason for the big sock purge is that Shay is moving. She has lived in the house she is leaving for the last 5 years, three of which I shared with her as housemate. Starting May 1st, the landlord will be doing major renovations and looking for tenants from a different income bracket. This was a dear house, the scene of many memories and it is strange to see it slip into unknown hands. But it was time for me to move on last summer and now it is time for Shay.
Adieu to the Bowman! Bienvenue to new digs and new adventures!

Counting Crows

In England, children have a verse they say when they spot a flock of magpies. In America, apparently we use it on crows. It goes like this:

One for sorrow
Two for joy
Three for a girl
Four for a boy
Five for silver
Six for gold
Seven for a secret, never to be told

When I first moved to England and was introduced to the fortune-telling power of birds, I saw nothing but pairs of magpies. Joy was certainly the color of my life at that time.
One day I was in a taxi on the way to the airport to visit my boyfriend in Slovenia. On the side of the road I spotted a lone magpie, the first I can recall. When I arrived, my boyfriend ended our short but intense relationship and I blamed the magpie. For a while I saw only single birds.
A couple of years ago, while driving north through the fiery fall mountains of Vermont, I began to see pairs of crows everywhere! I thought this had something to do with the guy I was seeing at the time, but the streak of coupled-bird sightings outlasted the doomed affair.
In Philadelphia there aren't many crows. For a while birds interfered little with my expectations of the future, but with the imminent birth of my sister's first child and my first niece/nephew, I have turned to the birds once again for a hint about whether we're in for a girl or a boy. I have stopped giving crows preferential treatment and am counting any birds I see. They are overwhelmingly grouped in threes, with a party of four thrown in to keep me from being too sure.
In between, pairs of birds continue to appear and give me courage and optimism for my own future. The occasional lone bird used to make my heart sink and I would quickly turn away, as if to deny it's existence. These days I take the loner in stride. I observe him closely to see just what sorrow looks like and what it might teach me. A single pigeon often has a hidden collar of iridescent pinky purple. The robin usually appears by himself, yet he heralds the coming of spring. Sorrow is ever-present. It can make knots of our insides and cripple us with fear or it can become a secret chamber within us that glows with bittersweet ache and allows our joy to be infinitely more alive than it could be in a virgin heart.

It's Over!

Last year I didn't teach on Fridays, so Thursday night kicked off my weekend. Not so this year! Today is my hardest teaching day, at the end of which I will collapse, having no energy for a groovy Friday night. Here’s a random ten list to get us through the day!

1.Groove Is In The Heart, Dee-lite (Charlie's Angels Soundtrack)
2.Unfold, Jason Mraz (Tonight, Not Again! Live at Eagle's Ballroom)
3.Catch My Disease, Ben Lee (Live at the World Cafe?)
4.On Your Shore, Charlotte Martin (On Your Shore)
5.Every Little Thing About You, Raoul Malo (Jamie and Scott's Wedding CD)
6.Semi-Charmed Kind of Life, Third Eye Blind (A Lot Like Love Soundtrack)
7.Changeless, Carbon Leaf (Indian Summer)
8.Moments with Oliver, Rachel Yamagata (Happenstance)
9.Reason Why, RY (H)
10.On Love, In Sadness, Jason Mraz (Waiting for My Rocket to Come)
bonus: I’ll Do Anything, JM, (WFMRTC)

The cat's pyjamas: 2
Called for and couldn't come: 6
Album(s): 2,7,8/9,10/11
Best song title: 10
Live: JM, RY, CL, CM

PS – I wrote this this morning but couldn’t post it ‘til now (connection trouble). Hope everybody got through the day anyway! Mine was as horrendous as I predicted. Funny how that happens!

Pants crisis!

Last summer my sister and brother-in-law were staying with me for a few weeks. It was hot and we had all lost the will to feed ourselves, unless it was frozen or came out of a restaurant kitchen. We went through an alarming number of ice cream sandwiches. We nicknamed it the summer of 5,000 lbs, joking that that is what we'd all weigh at the end of it. Well I was only laughing a little bit when I couldn't fit into any of my pants by fall! Then I found a new pair of corduroys at the Gap outlet that renewed my faith in the goodness of the world. They are a versatile shade of gray/brown with a hint of stretch and a dynamite fit. So dynamite, in fact that I wear them 2, 3, 4 times a week without fail. You can only imagine my great shock and sadness when I realized that the cord has worn away on the inside of the thighs, and with the frequent wearing, the problem is getting steadily worse. What will I do when there are gaping holes in the crotch of the only pants that make me feel like a shred of my former foxy self? Some would say it's time to join a gym, eat more salads, lay off the peanut butter cups. I say, not while there's a possibility that another pair of magic pants exist in the world!

Intention

Whenever I am in transition between something familiar and something foreign, I feel very wobbly, like the ground beneath me cannot be counted on to be solid from one minute to the next. When I most need to remember that I have the power to control the quality of my life, I fall into self-pity and envy of the lives around me that seem so much simpler.
Last night before I went to sleep, I wrote down what I wanted: to sleep well, take a walk in the morning and move through the day without anger or frustration. And darned if that's not exactly what happened! Well the anger part was challenged by my colleagues who tend to whisper together like children, not realizing that it makes those who are quite obviously being excluded from the conversation feel, well, excluded! Just as I was about to start muttering angrily to myself, I remembered that I didn't want this in my day and went to rescue some 5th graders who where being chastised for touching the low hanging branches of a beautiful flowering tree by an uptight groundskeeper.
Tonight I have painting class and I intend to enjoy finishing my painting. Then I intend to repeat my intention exercise for tomorrow.

The Real vs. The Everyday

One of the things that I find difficult about teaching is how much I enjoy my students! I find I would much rather have a conversation with them and soak up their brilliant observations of the world. A few times a year we enjoy a school sponsored coffee house. Our traditional roles are put aside and parents, teachers and students enjoy each other's company and talent. The 7th grade, who hosts, have been working on some comedy improv and they are hilarious! Parents share music and poetry. Teachers do things that aren't necessarily educational! Kids step forward and play music or recite poetry of their own volition! Throw in the baked goods, coffee and tea and it is really my ideal way to spend a Friday night. At last night's event, I read this poem of mine that was inspired by the event itself.

I drive up,
The friendly windows cast their glow
On the parking lot.
This is a change from the everyday -
Usually I am morning-frantic
And squinting behind sunglasses.

You can hear and feel the beehive buzz
Before you open the door.
Where once there was only cold water with a twist of metal pipe flavor,
Now a feast is spread.
The room that is usually bright yellow,
With a blade of sunshine slicing into it,
Glows with candles and cozy lamplight.
And we are all eager to enjoy each other!
No longer fighting for and against order,
Peeled of the daytime people we must be.

When I leave this festival of the real us,
I glow for who we all are
When we're not trying to be something else.
Would it feel this good
If we tried it everyday?

Spell check fun: Before I made each other into two seperate words, spell check wanted me to change "eachother's" into "yachters" and "eachother" to accouter - what is that?

FRT

I've felt wretched all day! I realized, as I lay awake between 2 and 4am feeling a certain familiarity to being awake when the rest of the world is not, that many would say I have insomnia! As evidenced by the fact that technically it is no longer Friday as I post. Oh well, the day ends when I say it does!

1.Spoon, Dave Matthews Band (Before These Crowded Streets)
2.Jupiter, Bringer of Jolity from the Planets by Gustav Holst
3.Summer Breeze, Jason Mraz (covering Seals and Crofts)
4.Never, Never Gonna Give You Up. Barry White (Greatest Hits)
5.I'm Thinkin' About Your Body, Us3 (Broadway and 52nd)
6.The Sea, Carbon Leaf (Indian Summer)
7.Limits of Our Love, Charlotte Martin (On Your Shore)
8.One Day Closer To You, Carolyn Dawn Johnson (A Room with a View)
9.Even So, Rachel Yamagata (Happenstance)
10.Geek in the Pink, Jason Mraz (Mr. A-Z)

Fav: 10 (I am nothing if not loyal!)

Freak: 2, but funny that it had a post named after it this week! This is on my pod because it includes the theme that became the hymn that was sung at Princess Diana's funeral, which I love (the music not the funeral). Wow, no matter what I tell you about this piece I can't escape sounding lame!

Seen live: Dave, Jason, Charlotte, Barry et al (Carbon Leaf), Rachel

Black Sheep: Carolyn Dawn Johnson. She's country, a genre that was sucked of it's fun value by the current disease of fundamentalist patriotism, but I love her girl power!

Jupiter, Bringer of Jollity!

I expect this post to be a doozy; I'm just powering through a profound absence of material.
I'm on a mission to reclaim the excitement of Thursday night. It's always been a night to look forward to but lately I find myself obseving it with a book and early bedtime.
When I was a senior in high school I'd go to church choir rehearsal with my voice teacher. I idolized him and treasured this privileged time with him.
In college my roommate Karen and I would make dinner together and settle in front of the tube for the Must See TV lineup (before it was called that, I think).
When I lived in France, I sang in the choir at the American Cathedral in Paris. After rehearsal we'd hit the Lizard Lounge, a bar frequented by British and American expats. We'd often stay 'til last call and then, having missed the last train back to the burbs, I'd crash with friends. It was always a wild time!
On Thursday nights there is always contra dancing at Glenside Memorial Hall. I went once by myself several weeks ago because nobody wanted to join me, and it turned out to be a liberating experience. It's really fun! But I find myself unwilling to repeat my liberation. I'd rather go with friends, which at the moment appear to be a scarcity.
Anything will do! Food, TV, drinks, dancing, board games! It just requires a few to gather and get the ritual started. Thursday is connected with the planet Jupiter whose influence is said to inspire social forms, so it just doesn't make sense to spend Thursday night by yourself!

A National Holiday Proposal

What are the elements of a holiday? Funny hats? Crowds? Adjusted hours at the post office? Ice cream? These are sufficient to put me in a festive mood!
Well I am a tax procrastinator of long standing. I put off filling out the forms out of a paralizing yet irrational fear that a simple error of mathmatics or pure ignorance will land me rotting in a cell for 20 to life. Yet when all forms are complete and my parents have assured and reassured me that I don't make enough money for anyone to care about my honest mistakes, I really enjoy joining my fellow procrastinating Americans in line at the post office.
When I was a freshman in college I was in charge of mailing my own taxes for the first time. It was about 11pm on April 15th when I found out that the downtown P.O. was closed already and I had to go in search of the main post office. I pride myself on a fierce sense of direction and found the spot with plenty of time to stop at a gas station and get a popsicle. Thus was born my personal celebration of tax day. And you know, when you're that late, you don't even have to get out of the car? Curbside service, man!
So this year I was on my way back to the city after a refreshing springtime visit to my parents house, the magical woodland paradise where I grew up. I had considered hitting the 30th St. P.O., but fearing congestion, settled on the Southeastern PA office in Wayne. ( I remember my dad mailing us anonymous Valentines there once so the postmark wouldn't give him away. That's funny! I don't actually remember ever getting a Valentine from my dad. Funny how memory works!) There was a sizable backup of traffic, but it was a balmy spring evening, I was rockin' out to the ipod, and to my great delight, in the bag of groceries on the back seat was a pint of ice cream! Yay! And the men standing at the curb collecting envelopes were wearing red, white, and blue hats! My celebration is reborn!
So next year when you're cursing the US treasury, be sure to map out a route to the post office that will afford you a stop for a frozen treat! Maybe we sould wear funny hats too, in solidarity!

Ode to a Goldfish

As much as I fantasize about not having a job, I begin to see that I'm not really ready for a life of total leisure.
Wednesday was my big day this week: I went to the dentist and then met Alysoun and Tarry at the international arrivals hall at the airport to visit with them during a layover. Having not had my fill of the airport, I went back on Thursday with Shay to pick up our all-expenses-paid-lunch ticket, Kevin. We ate until we were nauseous (or is it nauseated) and then I think I spent the rest of the day and night on the internet.
Friday I fully intended to leave the house, but put it off 'til 7 or so when I went to a movie. It was liberating to get out and I felt a great kinship with my fellow human beings. I came home and thought I'd go to bed early, but ended up reading a real dung heap of a book til about 11 when I could take no more and switched to the new Jennifer Weiner, but then that was interesting so I stayed up 'til about 12:30. Then I woke in the middle of the night suffocating because it was so hot in my apartment. I opened a window and felt a tremor of trepidation about the rising temperatures of summer. So of course I was in no hurry to get up this morning and was feeling like if they made a movie about my life right now it would be the kind where the person is so pathetic you can't stand it and then their only friend, who is a goldfish, dies and they go berzerk and start living out of a shopping cart in the park. Determined not to get to the point where I felt the need of a fish, I went to the park. I decided not to take my ipod, as constant listening has got me singing random lines out loud to myself a la Turrets syndrome. When I got to the park I got out a good old-fashioned pad of paper and the kind of pen they give away at the bank and started to write. What came out was a pretty good first draft of a short story! I was feeling much better. Close on it's heels followed the chorus of a song, and then 2 verses! Yay me! Then I scribbled down the tune before it escaped me. Pretty pleased with my quick rehabilitation, I put on my backpack and went to Whole Foods to get lettuce (it's my job to bring the salad to Easter dinner). All the way there I was humming my new song and I could hear the guitar chords in my head. When I got home I grabbed the much neglected guitar from the closet and tried to play what I heard. No luck. I think I need some lessons. But I figured out the chord progression and can play the bass line along with my singing and I think it's gonna rock!
It's been nice to take a break from the 10-3 (my version of the 9-5) but I'll be happy to return to the form and structure of work on Tuesday. I think the lesson for this week is that structure, while it can strangle and kill you if it's too tight, will keep you from lunacy and dead goldfish.

First Random Friday Set

So this is my first Friday Random Ten. Feels like it should have a theme, since it's Good Friday, but I guess that wouldn't be random and I'm experimenting with not celebrating this year anyway so...

1.River, Joni Mitchell (Blue)
2.Tied to you, Rufus Wainright (aquired from my sister's wedding CD, not even sure that's the correct title!)
3.Kiss me, Six Pence None the Richer (Six Pence None the Richer)
4.Don't Worry Baby, The Beach Boys (Surfer Girl/Shut Down Vol. 2)
5.Coconut, Harry Nillson (Resevoir Dogs Soundtrack)
6.Cold Feet, Tracy Chapman (New Beginning)
7.The Stone, Dave Matthews Band (Before These Crowded Streets)
8.Most People I know, Kieth Urban (Gap Favorites)
9.Know Nothing, Travis (A Lot Like Love Soundtrack)
10.I'm Yours, Jason Mraz (live performance)

Favorite Song: 10, available only by download I think, and not only my favorite on the list but my favorite in the world at the moment!

Least Favorite: 6 and 9, tying for first. Don't hate 'em, just blah.

Favorite Album: Before These Crowded Streets - It's so complete.

Seen Live: Jason Mraz, Dave Matthews, twice each.

Interesting tidbit: Did you know Six Pence... were a Christian group? Bought the album for this song and don't really like the rest of it.

I learned this "art form" from Marisa. Check out www.Apt2024.blogspot.com for hers and other FRT's (Friday Random Ten).

Signs of Spring

I met an ENORMOUS cockroach in my bathroom this evening, and, really hating the crunching sound when you squash them, I tried to lure him into the toilet. He didn't buy it, so I vacuumed him up and he is now living in the canister of the Dirt Devil. I was kinda hoping he'd suffocate, but I don't know much about cockroach physiology...do they suffocate?
Today the Philadelphia sun was blazing hot! I guess it's the same sun the world over. Anyway it was hot. I feel greedy about good weather living here and I'm willing to bet I'm not alone. Last spring I remember taking a nap in the blissful breeze from the open window, when a friend called. He asked what I was up to and I answered truthfully that I was napping. "How can you be napping on such a beautiful day!" He was incredulous! The fact is there will be more, but we put up with such grayness, such bracing against the cold winds that rush down the corridors of the city streets, that a little part of us fears there may not. I have a friend who lived in Florida for a time and said on of the things she loved about it was that people were always happy. You weren't constantly getting the wrong end of someone's personal frustrations, because it was just too damn sunny!
Spring makes my insides spill over. Sometimes it feels like love, sometimes like enthusiasm. It's a little different this year. There is still spilling, but instead of desperately scrambling to mop it up, I am sitting back and watching the patterns it makes in the dust. It feels great. Sometimes the bench I am sitting on in this analogy feels uncomfortably vacant of understanding souls. In stronger hours I am all the understanding I have need of.

Girl gone wild!

I am currently on spring break. Not the kind where you go to Aruba to flash your breasts at strangers and pass out in your own vomit, just a week off from teaching. I'm always glad for the opportunity to let my sleeping and waking pattern drift slightly during a vacation, but I find myself right now in the throes of an alarming downward spiral of nocturnal behavior. It is five minutes of three and I just climbed into my loft! I hardly did this when I was a teenager! And I'm still not really all that sleepy! What the hell! In addition to just not feeling like sleeping, I am now having heart palpitations at the thought of never going to bed before 2am again and yet still having to get up and go to work. Will the madness ever end?!

As you read this you may think "For the love of God, somebody give that girl an ambiem or just knock 'er out!" I don't blame you! Perhaps if I'd been drinking tequila by the kiddy pool full, we wouldn't be having this problem.

And my goal for the vacation was to do my taxes and figure out what I'm going to do next year!

Oh, and someone informed me that those in the know don't call them "laptops" anymore, but "notebooks", so Lawrence and I are going down to the courthouse tomorrow to have his name legally changed to Neil. Unless someone else has a suggestion.

Change is good!

When I was a little girl my mom would take my sister and me on the train to Philadelphia. We'd go to the Please Touch Museum or, when we got older, the Art Museum. We'd eat a picnic lunch in Logan Circle, maybe stick our toes in the fountain if the weather was warm. If the fountain was empty we'd climb around on the sculptures. When I moved down to center city in January, the park was closed for renovation, the trees were gone, and things looked dismal. I swore and cursed the city for not consulting me before buldozing my sacred spot!
Yesterday I was walking down 19th St. and in front of me, framed by rectangular buildings, the fountains of Logan Circle shot into the air! The park is open again, it is clean and beautifully manicured and it sits directly on the walk from my house to my sister's. As I walked through today, new little girls were exploring the fountain's edge. They are children now and I am grown up. Many things have changed since my sister and I rode the train in Lilly Pullitzer dresses with a basket of peanut butter and honey sandwiches. The trees that shaded our picnics are not there for our children to sit under. But not everything needs to be repeated. The clear, unobstructed sunlight of the new park will be my reminder to let light shine unobstructed into my own life, which is not the life of my parents or even my childhood self.

Rainy Day Ramblings

Hooray! I am a genius! I fixed the "n" key! I also rearranged my closet and it is now fit for it's own spread in Better Homes and Gardens!
I think that in a perfect world I would sleep from 4-6pm, again from 1-5am, and again from 8-11am. That's kinda what I did last night and I very much enjoyed it. I am always tired in the afternoon, so that was taken care of, I often hit a creative spurt around 9pm and I like to let that run it's course, and I actually do enjoy the freshness and quiet of the early morning , especially in warm weather (let's face it I would rather be unconscious at all times during cold weather), but by the time the rest of the world is up, I'm ready for a nap.
You see, if I'm going to post more often, you may have to put up with verbal incontinence of this sort from time to time!

New Additions to the Family

I had long been fantasizing about the day I had a computer with internet access in my home and how I would announce it to my readers and ever after post blogs of unfailing length, quality, and regularity, but now that the dream is a reality I'm a little leary of giving up my good excuse for not writing. Lawrence the laptop arrived a couple of weeks ago and yesterday I tracked down, for a tidy sum, an original airport card for the old geezer and here we are. My warmest appreciation to Jack at Springboard Media for his help in hooking us up! And please don't malign me if I skimp on the sharing in the future.
A little housekeeping note: one faithful and generously complimentary reader has expressed concern that she, and therefore quite possibly Jason Mraz, was not given the opportunity to register comments on this site. It is actually so obvious that it took me a good 20 minutes of experimenting to find that all you need to do is click on "comments" at the end of a post. It seemed like that was just how you view comments, but in fact it is both. So comment away!
The other new addition is not a traditionally welcome guest in a human home. Last night I heard the unmistakable scuffle of mously feet on the acoustical tile just above my head. I was immediately worried that he would descend in the night and chew off my hair for his nest. But we made it through the night without incident! I heard him again tonight and I just couldn't help but smile at his tiny noises. Mice, like piglets and baby clothes make me want to squeal at their cuteness! So I communicated to him telepathically that as long as he didn't steal my hair or poop in my kitchen he was welcome. I'm sure my collection of young bachelor neighbors can keep him from wanting for food.
I bid you sweet dreams on this sad note - Lawrence's "n" key fell off during the typing of this post. As you can read, it is a workable situation, but far from ideal, given our honeymoon status!