Not From These Parts

I went to visit the third possible garden intern program on Wednesday. The Occidental Arts and Ecology Center is in Sonoma County nestled in hills of redwood trees and has exceedingly beautiful gardens and grounds. I had a lovely time getting my fingers into the dirt, but I came to the realization that wherever I go in California, no matter how many palm trees or sunny days or exciting ideas, I always feel like a foreigner. Who knows whether this is because I'm an uptight east-coaster or because I have always in the back of my mind the vast expanse of mountains and plains between here and most of the people I love. Anyway, at OAEC visitors are encouraged to pee in the woods to take pressure off the composting toilets, evreryone was sort of floating around, barely attached to the ground under their feet, and as I went to leave, everyone I had just met a few hours ago hugged me, but not necessarily because I was special in anyway, its just what they do - seemed wierd and oddly insincere.
So I am still wondering how it is I am going to find my way to farm living. I have been reading Joel Salatin, who is so encouraging and inspiring, but I feel like there are still a couple of stepping stones between me and where he suggests starting and I have full confidence that those steps will materialize, but it does leave me wondering "what now?".
I am really longing for a rest! All this gutsy adventuring really takes its toll, as does living in someone else's house. I would like to spend some time in quiet, with some outdoor space and a kitchen I can play with. Just putting that request out into the universe!

The Middle of the Night

So last night, its just after 9pm and I'm sitting at the kitchen table with a 2-year-old, and we are both doing our best to stay awake. Around 7pm, I had tried the old "I'll read you as many books as you want, lets read them in bed!" trick. He ran out of interest on number six. Then there was some industrious building of train tracks while I tried to keep my eyes open on the couch. Then I decided we should have a cup of (sleep-inducing) tea. He just wanted a tea-bag in cold water and the remains of his quesadilla from dinner.
In his defense, he falls asleep every night between his Mom and Dad (a sweet deal for him and to his parents I say "more power to ya"), so I can see why he wasn't really in the mood for sleep while they were in San Francisco. We also had Mom's permission to keep him up as long as he wished. But over the cup of tea I could see he was having as much trouble keeping his eyes open as I was. "It feels like the middle of the night!" I said to him. Inspiration struck when he suggested we were in the dining car of a train (he's a big fan of the railroad!). I suggested we move to the sleeper car, and started telling incredibly slow stories about my childhood. About 15 minutes before his parents arrived home , he succumbed.
As sometimes happens when I get too tired, I could not fall asleep when I finally got in bed. It took a homeopathic remedy and making some to-do lists to finally lose consciousness.

Covering Ground

When driving cross-country, you eventually have to deal with mountains. Just where you hit them determines the frequency and height of the undulations, but you really can't avoid them all together.
You can tell by my posts that though I am physically pretty coastal, I am still in an emotional process of crossing mountain ranges. Whenever I feel like I've made some progress, another peak looms on the horizon. I hope this isn't making any of my readers carsick!
Anyway, yesterday I visited one of the gardens where I have applied to be an apprentice. It was just nice to be in the moving air and sunshine and to have earth in my fingernails rather than dough. I learned a lot from the gardener and he was a pleasant person to spend the day with. I am however crossing it off my list because it is so hot (Sacramento) and because I sensed a little dogmatism in the community, something I am highly allergic to after my last two jobs. These don't seem like huge, deal-breaker reasons, but maybe the real reason is it just didn't feel right. Over ten years ago (gulp) I was trying to choose where to go for my teacher training and a healer I was seeing at the time told me to close my eyes and tell her what came up when I thought of each place I was considering. I gave some similarly lame reasonings about two (which I just realized are also two of my garden choices - how wierd is that!) and on the third just burst into tears and said I just want to go there!
The end result of my garden visit was an overwhelming urge to get started! It is a little hard for me to be in the place I am right now because 4 monthes (or really 3 now!) is too short to completely forget about what's next and too long not to fidget. I will visit choice three this coming week and share my impressions with you.

Affirmation

I have been working the early shift this week and am being given increasingly more independent projects, which I love. When we have to do projects in groups I get all bossy and controlling and irritated (and I'm sure irritating!). I made the biscotti and cottage pie almost start to finish, which is also satisfying.
Classes are getting much more interesting as we are getting past the health and safety crap. Yesterday Jessica introduced the work of Weston Price, which I knew about but not quite from its roots. She is also very passionate about it, which makes it more interesting. (Nobody is passionate enough about health and safety to make it interesting however.) Today we talked about menu planning which she approached by having us call out some classic family menus like Thanksgiving. That was really cool because we have a Mexican-American, a Guatemalan, and a Korean-American in the class, and we saw in action that every culture has its own methods of meeting universal balancing principles.
After work, checking my email, someone had forwarded a TED lecture by Elizabeth Gilbert about creativity and how our society puts so much pressure on people who choose a creative path and how we could and should support the magic of the creative process, rather than accepting that it seems to go hand-in-hand with mental instability. It was very beautiful. Then I checked my horoscope at Freewill Astrology which basically said "Erin, you should be doing exactly what you are doing and what you wish for is exactly what you are destined for!" OK, not exactly verbatim.
When I got home the house was empty, so I washed the day's grime off me and made a light but satisfying supper and ate it on the deck. As I ate a hummingbird explored the top of some nearby trees and I wished I could see it closer, so it came down and perched on the clothes line just long enough for me to look it in the eye and say "Thank you!"

Free Day

The reason I couldn't be completely unemployed for long is that the pressure of the week creates such a wonderful space when it leaves! This morning I can't rightly say that I slept in, nobody does in a house with a 2-year-old, but I had a leisurely getting-up process, made some necessary phone calls and set out to explore some more, this time on foot. My unltimate goal was to find the perfect drink-coffee-and-surf-the-net spot. At the library, my first stop, the internet was s..l..o..w.. and as you can imagine - no coffee! I continued up the hill to an independent coffee shop where I got a tasty everything bagel with lox and cream cheese, but there was little to no seating. The I rambled along Colusa, a street that winds along a hillside of fascinating little houses, for maybe a couple of miles, to the french bakery I wrote about earlier. They didn't have much in the way of seating either, but I did get a slice of fig tart and stash it in my bag. As I strolled along Solano, a street full of interesting shops and restaurants, I began to feel a blister develop; luckily its all downhill until home. I arrived outside the old-style movie theater 3 minutes before the bargain matinee showing of Midnight In Paris, which was highly enjoyable. Now I am in the coffee shop next door where there is seating, wifi and cream for the coffee - the winner so far!

Drugs

I have a serious television addiction, and when I heard that my new place had no wifi I thought "Great, now I can kick the habit!" but now I'm sitting in the Barnes and Noble parking lot waiting for free tv episodes from itunes to download and its taking about as much time as it would have to watch them on hulu, but I wanted to watch them in my comfy bed.
This morning one of my teachers brought in the remains of a late-night pinapple upside-down cake she had whipped up and was not allowing herself to keep in the house. We were all very happy to share it at tea time, then lunch came and after lunch we all wanted to know where dessert was (we rarely have dessert at lunch, or cake at tea time for that matter). We figured we were all just hooked on white death (my pet name for sugar, for those who don't know).

Wisdom, Balance, Fexibility

I have been pulling angel cards every morning a) because somebody gave me a deck as a present once and b) to give myself a thought to come back to during the day if I get negative or overwhelmed. I got these three in a row (the title) and I think one could not want for better goals in life. I tend to see every minor downfall as the reason the rest of my life will go horribly wrong, from being corrected by a teacher, to sore feet. I am trying to keep in mind that if something isn't working for me, I have not found my way to do it yet. Three Stone Hearth is a pretty large scale operation and is growing by leaps and bounds and I think "I can't do that much!" Well, they are five years in AND they built it around their strengths, interests and personalities. I keep have to repeat "I don't know yet" as my mantra for the future because its true and trying to know makes me crazy!
I decided I must have a deficiency in something that is naturally occurring in salmon because today as we were flaking some slow-roasted salmon for croquettes I just wanted to bury my face in the beautiful pink pile of flesh!
I got to work on the granola today too and am excited to make my own using the soaking/dehydrating method. I bought some and it is delicious, crumbly and doesn't make me feel like I swallowed a brick.

Incomplete Sentences

So much stirring today! So sleepy! Snack, then bed! Zzzzzz!

Sweet!

The weekend was a little funny. I was super tired and a little emotional and was starting to feel overwhelmed.
The moment I walked into work though I was infused with enthusiasm. People were laughing, things smelled amazing. I had the middle shift today which starts at tea-time (the perfect way to start a Monday) directly after which we have "class" which is an hour of sitting and listening to something fascinating. Jessica gave us the biography of the business which is so freaking inspiring - I just kept thinking how lucky I am to be soaking up all this knowledge and energy.
After class I helped mise-en-place the brownies (measure out all the ingredients) which are going to be awesome - gluten-free and palm sugar sweetened with crispy walnuts! Then I chopped a case of chard and then it was lunch time.
After lunch I put myself in charge of coffee, as I feel it has been a bit too strong. I am missing cream too, so today I voted with my pocket book and after work I bought a $10 pint of raw cream, which is illegal in many states and so well worth the price in my mind. I'm going to take it in to work and try to get other people hooked on it so I can take up a collection for the next one.
In the afternoon we shucked corn and cut it off the cob for a corn and fresh coconut side that will be on this week's menu. Then it was time to clean up. It sounds like a simple day, and in many ways it was, but you must understand the volume of things - we probably ended up with over ten gallons of cut corn!
After work I did some grocery shopping at the local organic grocery and got so many exciting things. Now I am eating some truly kick-ass pate that didn't sell last week (and was therefore free) and waiting for my beet fennel and carrot soup to be ready. The family have gone to Marin for a picnic dinner and though they are wonderful it is always nice to have time to one's self.

Settling

The final (god, I hope) phase of my settling in the Bay Area came with my move today to Jessica and Jake's house in Berkeley (I guess Richmond technically) Jessica is one of my teachers and she and Jake have an adorable 2-year-old boy named Torsten. Their home is clean and quiet and looks like grown ups live here (as opposed to the frat look of my last landing). I am very grateful to be able to put clothes in drawers and sheets on a bed and expect tonight to be one of the best sleeps of my life! Tomorrow I will go grocery shopping and therewith shall temporarily end the life of a gypsy.

Full

What a full full week! I think my subtler bodies are just starting to arrive and join me here in California. Though I loved every day of work, it is also nice to have a day to roam free. Slightly grimey donut shops are on every corner here, but I have been on the hunt for a good bakery worth splurging on. Today after a bizarre interview for a room/nanny position (which I will turn down if offered) I happened upon La Farine. Test one of a good bakery? The name. Passed. Test #2? Beauty. This was also a flying colors pass with one case of plump, golden buns of the breakfasty variety piled in baskets and another of refined, colorful edible-works-of-art, miniature and party-sized. I ordered a savory morning roll that was a moist marriage of brioche and croissant coiled around ham, cheese and onions and a coffee. The coffee was strong but smooth and heavenly with half and half. At the kitchen there does not seem to be a cream source for workers' coffee and and I have been choking it down with milk or maple syrup as an after lunch pick-me-up that turns out to be like medicine more than a taste treat.
Right next to the bakery a store was going out of business and selling racks of flowing linen garb at rock-bottom prices and I picked up a few gems, though I made myself a promise to get rid of as many items that I have been lugging around in my suit case.

Barkin' Dogs

I was dragging a bit this morning. I was running late and did not have my customary cup of earl grey on the way in, then there was no coffee at tea time (confusing, I know).
With the bulk of the week's cooking done and on the shelves for customers, most of the work today was prep. There is definitely a krauty theme to Thursdays, as next week's variety gets jarred and the newest batch of cabbage is shredded, pounded and prepared for its destiny. I also zested a ton of limes, which smelled so good and felt so decadent by the case full! They were then juiced and both ingredients frozen for future use. Toward the end of the day we did cleaning, something I did my best to avoid as a manager. By now my feet were really hurting and I was becoming annoyed with some of my wiftier classmates who just drifted off during mopping.
But when it was time to leave, it was time to leave. I didn't have to stay and prepare anything or worry about tomorrow. Now I get to veg out and tomorrow I will just show up. I have got to remember to take the little pebble out of my shoe that was such a nuisance all day! One of my particular neurosese (sp?) is being so hell bent on getting to the end of something that I cannot stop for 30 seconds to do something that will make the whole rest of the day more pleasant!
It is very windy outside my window in the pine tree!

Still Awesome!

I began the workday by slicing the fat from braised brisket and finely chopping it to be added back into the stroganoff. I could think of several friends who might be quite jealous as the beef fat moisturized my hands and the scent wafted up my nose!
Wednesday night and Thursday are when the kitchen is open to the public for picking up orders, so the rest of the morning was dedicated to jarring and other packaging projects.
The motivational music in the background runs from obscure marimba to top 40 pop to Buena Vista Social Club to top 40 from the 80's. I'm sure plenty more variety is still possible.
Lunch was a southern-style chicken soup with sweet potatoes and black beans and yogurt cream, and yes, it was as delicious as it sounds.
I drank kombucha a bit when it first hit health food store shelves, but I usually couldn't finish the bottle, but the Kombucha on our lunch table, always several flavors of it, is subtle and so refreshing!
In the afternoon I was given the task of making 100 quarts of Mexican Chicken Soup under the supervision of a huge dude named Mudhut wearing a skirt and two different colored socks. Like I said...awesome!

First Day of School

Did you ever feel as though the universe built something exactly to your specifications? Well, I guess it wasn't really the universe so much as the four fantastic worker-owners at Three Stone Hearth.
The day started with a tea break - fantastic! Then we all sat down to introduce ourselves and get oriented. For anyone who has ever worked in food service you know that it is hard on the body, cooks are infamous for their rotten attitudes and most large scale kitchens are incredibly wasteful and cut corners on quality whenever they can get away with it. Three Stone Hearth has set out to change ALL of it! Everyone is positive, principled, funny, and enjoys working together.
Then we had a tour. The place is so organized and user friendly its incredible. There is plenty of hard work being done, but every effort has been made to be kind to the worker.
After the tour we pulled pork and scooped out roasted sweet potatoes that would later be layered into a casserole. It smelled soooo good. The biggest surprise of the day came when Seth, the kitchen manager, needing help getting a vat of broth out of the fridge looked at us all and said "ok so John is the tall one, who's the strong one? I think its Erin." I said that must be the first time that thought had been had and there was some testing of biceps, but the funniest part is that he may be right!
We all sat down to lunch together which featured a preview of the pork casserole, several tasty and interesting salads, krauts, and lacto-fermented beverages. The conversation was lively and light-hearted.
After lunch I washed potatoes until it was time to go home...3 hours later. Everyone was very apologetic saying the produce usually came to them in better shape, but having harvested potatoes, I know somebody had to do some scrubbing, might as well be me (although my wrist is hurting rather a lot).
I am so excited to be part of this that I don't even mind all that much that my bed is actually a couch that may or may not have a bug problem!