Baking In Pajamas

I do some of my best work in my pajamas. There is creative momentum lost in the act of getting dressed and presentable. This morning I woke with the vision of making a pecan pumpkin pie while sipping from a big mug of earl grey tea. I just don't think it would have gone as smoothly if I had done more beforehand than shuffle into slippers and pull a sweatshirt over my bed head. There is also such freedom in creating for yourself. My pie hit some snafus, but the minute I realized that I was the only one who need ever see/taste it, I was able to adjust to the new parameters of the experiment (pie shell too small/too much filling) and keep going calmly and joyfully. I suppose a goal might be to be able to react the same way when an audience is involved. As a person who has struggled her whole life with sugar abuse it is hard to settle into my love for baking. If I didn't have so much information in my head about the evils of white sugar and white flour, I would have become a pastry chef long ago. But perhaps my love does not have to be excluded by my struggle. Perhaps my knowledge of healthier alternatives combined with my sweet tooth are just the recipe for a line of real desserts that can lead other recovering addicts to a better place with dessert. Or maybe I overthink a little. Maybe the lesson is just to do, with love, the heart's bidding.