What have I done!

It felt good in San Diego (if lacking in dear friends which I am missing sorely right now), so now I'm looking for work. I hate looking for jobs! It's exhausting to keep coming up with the answers people want to hear. Every day I go through an astounding array of thoughts about my future. What job will I have? A postal worker? A receptionist? A burger slinger? Will I live above someone's garage? In a grimy furnished room with a hot plate? Under an overpass? Will I find a community of kindred spirits or will the social highlight of my week remain the smiles exchanged at the grocery store check out? Nothing that seems possible looks very tempting right now!
I wrote to a friend that if money was no object I would know exactly what to do with my life! I'd buy a big house near the beach. I could take in paying guests, B&B style, or just friends from out of town. I'd have a big bright room where I could work on craft projects and paint and write. I'd have a big, beautiful kitchen where friends could be found at any time of the day or night, knowing they'd be sure to find something delicious and a cozy place to be. I'd be free to travel to the far corners of the globe where I have nearly forgotten friends who invited me years ago. I have such well developed plans for if I did have money, that I feel like there's no room left to imagine how life must be because I have none.
The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. When I lived in Philadelphia I couldn't wait to get away from everything familiar. Now I long for game night at The Clubhouse, sandwiches at Jame and Scott's, the late night chats Shay and I would have in our jammies. I feel myself a bit ridiculous right now for imagining there was something better than what I knew.

Should

I have so much good stuff to record!
First let me say that I am again writing from the picnic table at a KOA. Aaah!
A little back story: The 2 cats I am babysitting are none other than the evil Siamese cats from Lady and the Tramp! The woman whose apartment I am staying in gave me a lengthy run down of there needs and quirks including the fact that one sometimes poops on the rug for no apparent reason (she was sure it wasn't defiance) and the other, the one who prefers not to be in the same room with me, like lots of petting. Hmmm.
There was some vagary about whether or not the bedroom door should be closed to the cats. I thought she said yes, and was glad of it; they say no. Last night they were howling outside the door in the middle of the night and I refused to give in to their demands. In the morning they had crapped in several strategic spots including my guitar case. Manipulative mongrels!
Yesterday, when I was just hating Sacramento, not the cats, I decided I needed to know if San Diego was really my final destination. What if I got there and hated it? What then? Would I proceed to drive home and live out my days mortified in my parents basement?
Internet research said that it was about a 7 hour drive. Down in a day, stay a day, back in a day!
So I set out this morning, really glad to be going but kind of disgruntled; I'm sure the poop-fest didn't help. About an hour outside Sacramento, I found there was a screw stuck in my tire. Given my mood at the time, I had to sit in my car in moody paralysis until my dad told me what to do. The gas station attendant pointed me across the way to a very ramshackle fix-it shop where a sweet and friendly ranshackle man plugged the hole. I got to watch and it is a fascinating process!
I was feeling much lighter when I set out again. There were hours of burnt, flat country to cross. Finally mountains began to break through their hazy shroud and we started to climb. The roads were so bad that I had to pull over and check that all four of my tires hadn't suddenly gone flat! This prompted more worry and a leaden guilt hung an the whole journey because it felt impulsive and it was using up the tiny monetary reserves. Then dear Gwyneth called! She cheered me up with her encouragement, and then Mom called to top me off. Once I hit LA, I wasn't even annoyed by the mysterious stop and go traffic. My one day observation is that southern California traffic seems to go in waves. One minute you are stopped to crawling and the next you are flying along. The stopping never lasted long!
When the Pacific came into view I shouted a greeting to her. This side of the mountains things had color and the sea air complemented the hot sun perfectly! As I entered San Diego county I realized that I had finally gotten to the part of this trip that was really mine. There had been so many shoulds along the way, not the least of which is this damn housesitting gig! It's been hard to stand confidently and tell any number of inquisitors over the past several months that I'm drawn to San Diego by something I can't name and I'm going there without job or contacts or anything, but I knew I hadn't been wrong when the tears just welled up as I gazed from green hills to ocean horizon to mop-headed palms.
I sliced through the city on the freeway (tomorrow I will do some more in depth research) on my way to the beloved KOA. Let me sing it's praises just a little longer! It's like going on vacation to the '50's! Everything is clean and manicured and the staff genuinely perky. My dream is to one day stay in a Kamping Kabin! They are life-sized yet cozy Lincoln Log homes, complete with porches and arranged around little green courtyards!
I nearly forgot! I have been longing for sea you can swim in since the chilly tease of Puget Sound. On my way into SD I stopped in Encinitas at the state beach to see if they had any campsites. They did not but I took the opportunity to hop down to the beach. Bliss! The water was definitely warmer than the Jersey shore in June when Bobby and I did our mad body surfing! I think it will make for very pleasant swimming! The sand was silky and cool.
Well folks, now we just need to find me a job!

Here

I am sitting in a gallery/wine bar/cafe that adjoins a used book store in downtown Grass Valley. Inside it is cool and calm and old-timey jazz is floating in the air.
Late yesterday afternoon, descending from the highest point on the whole of route I-5, I crossed into California. I have found on this trip, that I have a feeling for a state the moment I enter it and it pretty much sticks, good or bad. I had a momentary panic that California would not live up to my expectations. But the sun was pleasantly bright and the mountains inviting and I was so glad to begin the real exploration. I planned to stop at the next state campground I saw, which didn't occur for another couple of hours. The air was cool but not chilly. I picked a site in Castle Crags S.P. and layed out my tent, feeling brave enough to risk the bears, mountain lions, and rattle snakes that the visitors center warned of. I was soon greeted by 5 inquisitive yellow jackets and I thought one had flown down the back of my dress, so I went to the nearby wash house to investigate. Not so. On my way back a little lizard ran across my path and I nearly screamed. Then I decided to roll up the tent and sleep in the car, knowing that as I lay in the tent, I would be sure that every noise I heard signified my doom. I lay squashed up across the two front seats and stared at the star-sequined sky. That wasn't really a sleep-able situation so I rearranged my cargo and reclined the drivers seat. I slept without incident and in the morning my German neighbors (yes, again!) offered me coffee, I think out of pity for my cramped quarters.
I spent the day enjoying new sights etc. I love that the trees here are a complete change from the familiar foliage that followed me across the whole country. I loved that I smelled fall leaves without it being sad or cold. I love horses grazing in groves and signs completely in Spanish. Tonight I visit a potential future living situation, 20 minutes outside of this quaint town, on a farm/homestead. Tomorrow I go to Sacramento for 3 weeks of housesitting and more exploring.
Until then!

Why we don't live in herds

My mother, sister and niece have joined me on dad's boat. It has been a very happy reunion for me, but not uncomplicated.
For one thing, as complicated as it is to be a human being, it is exponentially more tricky to be two human beings together, especially over the seasons of a lifetime. My parents are valorously skirmishing through the inevitable chaos that must come when two people ask themselves difficult questions about what they want their lives to be, after living a combined life of comparatively clear roles and rules. I love them both very much and it's hard to watch them struggle.
For another, it is five times as hard to move through a day with five people together as it is with one. I spent almost 2 weeks sculpting my days around only the demands of my hunger, my bladder and my patience for being behind the wheel. It is a stark contrast to get five people up in the morning, cleaned to their individual standards, fed and agreeing about what everyone is going to do together all day. Where it would take me perhaps five minutes between deciding I want to go to town and getting in the car, it takes the herd what seems like hours. Add to this the fact that these individuals all have very different personal styles and speeds, and that one of us never knows she is hungry or sad until the moment the sensation is upon her and is moved to hysteria by her car seat!
I don't want to wallow in complaints! The sun is shining brightly today, when I woke up I felt like I had mysteriously lost ten pounds, and now I am taking a bit of a breather at Penguin coffee, my Anacortes internet headquarters. My iced mocha (easy on the chocolate) was perfection.

I Crossed the Whole Damn Thing!

So, when last we heard from our heroine, she was sitting in the parking lot of a national park gift shop paying $3 an hour for internet access. Since then she has actually reached the west coast without succumbing to Deep Vein Thrombosis and is now coming to you from a bright and cheery cafe with FREE internet access, sipping an iced coffee. This is how it should be!
So on Friday, I drove all the way from Glacier to Anacortes which is about an hour north of Seattle, or would have been if it wasn't rush hour on a Friday in summer! Since then I have been getting a taste of my Dad's hard-working, boatman's life, scraping, sanding, taping and painting. My muscles are aching from unfamilliar work, but my tan is smashing!
The Nor'wester is docked at a working boat yard and I am the only female around most of the day. As I wielded the power sander, in shorts and a bikini top, one leg hanging in nonchalance over the edge of the upper deck, I imagined I must be a sight for sore eyes. I had dad take a picture, which I intended to share with you, but it turns out the photo is more likely to make eyes sore. Everything is so much better in the imagination!
The boat is a beauty! She is wearing the disguise of a construction site right now, covered bow to stern in paint cans and power tools, but her charm shines through. Anyone who knows me knows my soft spot for a fixer upper, so you can imagine that my mind is racing with improvement possibilities! I have to remind myself that it's not my baby and every evening as the damp rolls in, I am still glad to be headed south!
I have to go back to the laundermat where two heaping loads of cross country clothes and mildewy boat linen are about to be reborn, fresh from the dryer.
I leave you with these photos; the distant view from the Nor'wester - Mt. Baker...and the view as your step off the boat and onto the dock. The princess is trapped among the common folk and longing to show off her beauty in more dignified digs.

I'll Be Comin' Round the Mountain

So much to catch up on! After the KOA, I decided to head all the way to Glacier National Park, where a friend of a friend offered me use of their guest cabin. Around noon I saw signs for Missouri Headwaters State Park, which I had checked out as a possible stop for the night before (I never would have made it!). I was tired of doing nothing all day but driving and decided to make an early stop and enjoy the afternoon! I set up my tent and went for a little hike (in my mind, a hike is distinguished from a walk by the use of hiking boots; most people would have called this a stroll). I waded in the Missouri, and climbed Fort Rock for some victorious views! This was just the sort of landscape that one could imagine rattlesnakes in (I don't know if they actually live there) and I was very nervous first, but then I silently asked their permission to explore their land, promising not to harm anything. This made me feel much better! I had lupper (late lunch/early supper) and went into my tent to escape the vulture-sized mosquitoes and read. About 8:30 a dramatic wind storm sprung up with a little sprinkling of rain and quickly moved on. Around midnight I shot out of bag at the sound of distant thunder. I had everything broken down and stuffed in the car in record time. I debated whether or not to start driving then, but decided that if I could manage to sleep like a sardine in the car, I would. I did in fact sleep soundly and awoke slightly embarrassed to realize that nothing ever came of the thunder!
Yesterday I finally began to climb mountains. They had been lumping along to my left for days. In my mental picture of crossing the country, the mountains are pretty key. There's the scene from The Long Long Trailer where Desi throws Lucy's contraband rock collection off a cliff and the mountain trial nearly ends their marriage. And John Steinbeck's Rocinante breaking down in the snow, somewhere around the continental divide. Not to be outdone, I too had a little mountain adventure! As I was driving I saw a smoggish haze ahead of me. As I got closer I smelled that it was not smog but smoke! As it got thicker a blinking sign said "FIRE IN PROGRESS DO NOT STOP". I kept going, all the while craning to catch a glimpse of the flames. Sadly all I got to see were a couple of helicopters dipping their buckets in the river that ran along the highway. Still, pretty exciting!
I am now in Glacier National Park after quite a hairy detour from the interstate and I had written down the directions so long ago that I no longer understood my personal shorthand. But I found the place and it is exquisite! My little guest cabin is directly behind the main house which peers through the pines at Lake McDonald and the mountains beyond. This morning I slept in, took a hot shower, did some painting, took the canoe out for a paddle, swam in the crystal water and read in the sunshine!
Now I'm off for an ice cream! Tomorrow I'll try to make Seattle in one day, as at this point I am more sick of setting up and breaking down the tent than of driving all day, and I just want to get there already! We'll see how that works out!