I Want...

Every time I go to a play, I want to be an actor. Every time I go to a concert, or turn on the radio for that matter, I want to be a singer. Every time I read a book I want to write one. When I make a really good meal, I want to feed the masses. Every time I go to the grocery store, I ... buy too many snacks. My mom reminded me tonight that she knew a man once who was a mail carrier so that he had time to dedicate to his true love, the study of philosophy. Maybe I'm asking to much of work?
I have abandoned my sleeping loft and rigged up a system where most of me lies on the loveseat, while my legs are propped up on the coffee table which is piled high with a folded duvet. I slept better there last night than I have in weeks. I had been having dreams that left me feeling sad and hopeless in the morning, but last night I met my good friend Gregers in my dreams! He threw his arms around me and lifted me up in a huge twirly hug. That feeling of mutual dearness, holding on to someone I am so overjoyed to be near, that doesn't happen to me a lot in the life I live right now! In other worlds I have been surrounded by huggers, leaners, snugglers and the like. I want more of those!