Needs supervision

I am sitting in a crowded cafe and on two consecutive sips of my chocolate rum rooibos (it's tea, not a cocktail) I over-tipped my cup and dumped a substantial amount into my lap, then pretended nothing had happened. This is classic me; don't react and maybe nobody will notice you are not only not perfect, but frequently very flawed.
I seem to have within me a monk (with whom I am well acquainted) and a freedom-lover (who has been trying to get my attention for ages). They have been fighting my whole life and I am currently playing matchmaker, trying to get them to make peace and get hitched. The monk would quietly have dabbed his lap with a napkin. The wild woman (I haven't really found her the perfect title yet) would have laughed uproariously, taken off her skirt and hung it out the window to dry. How am I even supposed to get them to sit down for coffee?