The Box
For some reason I have always liked to find categories that I fit into. If I'm in an established box, I know there are others like me, I don't have to explain myself, I know I belong somewhere, I am less likely to be misplaced by the universe. I have enjoyed the comfort and safety of my family box, the Waldorf box, the Norwegian box, the musician box, the American box, the teacher box, and many more.
The trouble with the box system is that sometimes I let something slip that doesn't belong in the box of the moment. I get embarassed and defensive, trying to justify myself, to explain why I still deserve a place in that box. One of those moments happened tonight. I was with a bunch of good friends playing games when I said that I had seen The DaVinci Code. Well nobody at the theater thought I was stupid for paying $7.25 to see it on the big screen, but everybody there sure did! I was pretty surprised at the reaction I got! I couldn't say much in my defense, but inside I struggled to reconcile the movie with the friends. The perfect solution came on the drive home: I need my own box.
When the box I'm in is mine, defined by me, I can never be wrong for being myself. I can continue to enjoy the company of other boxes, but I make my own rules. Afterall, there is nobody exactly like me in the entire world and isn't kind of interesting to explain yourself? I definitely belong somewhere, but it's not the same place all the time, and the universe always knows where I am. So here is a brief description of what's in my box so far: I am my parents' child, a former Waldorf student and current Waldorf teacher (or at least for the next 3 weeks!), of 1/4 Norwegian blood, a singer, an American, I'm right handed but left eyed, I don't have a TV, I do have an iBook, I don't wear anti-perspirant, I do shave my legs everyday, I do eat organic when I can, I like whole milk and I prefer it raw and I think it's better for you that way, I only recycle when it's convenient, I enjoy hollywood films (sometimes truly vapid ones, which the DaVinci Code was not), and would rather see them in a theater of my fellow human beings than in my tiny, dark apartment where there's no dvd player anyway, I enjoy the company of good friends and the playing of Turbo Cranium and badminton, and so many other things both known to me, unknown, and yet to be discovered. There is nothing that I am that doesn't fit in my box, and yet I'm the one who tried to cram me into someone else's.
Editor's Note: Blogger spell-check was not working at time of post. Spelling errors large and small undoubtedly exist!
The trouble with the box system is that sometimes I let something slip that doesn't belong in the box of the moment. I get embarassed and defensive, trying to justify myself, to explain why I still deserve a place in that box. One of those moments happened tonight. I was with a bunch of good friends playing games when I said that I had seen The DaVinci Code. Well nobody at the theater thought I was stupid for paying $7.25 to see it on the big screen, but everybody there sure did! I was pretty surprised at the reaction I got! I couldn't say much in my defense, but inside I struggled to reconcile the movie with the friends. The perfect solution came on the drive home: I need my own box.
When the box I'm in is mine, defined by me, I can never be wrong for being myself. I can continue to enjoy the company of other boxes, but I make my own rules. Afterall, there is nobody exactly like me in the entire world and isn't kind of interesting to explain yourself? I definitely belong somewhere, but it's not the same place all the time, and the universe always knows where I am. So here is a brief description of what's in my box so far: I am my parents' child, a former Waldorf student and current Waldorf teacher (or at least for the next 3 weeks!), of 1/4 Norwegian blood, a singer, an American, I'm right handed but left eyed, I don't have a TV, I do have an iBook, I don't wear anti-perspirant, I do shave my legs everyday, I do eat organic when I can, I like whole milk and I prefer it raw and I think it's better for you that way, I only recycle when it's convenient, I enjoy hollywood films (sometimes truly vapid ones, which the DaVinci Code was not), and would rather see them in a theater of my fellow human beings than in my tiny, dark apartment where there's no dvd player anyway, I enjoy the company of good friends and the playing of Turbo Cranium and badminton, and so many other things both known to me, unknown, and yet to be discovered. There is nothing that I am that doesn't fit in my box, and yet I'm the one who tried to cram me into someone else's.
Editor's Note: Blogger spell-check was not working at time of post. Spelling errors large and small undoubtedly exist!
posted by Eiren at 8:51 PM
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