Wild America!

So I was just trying (unsuccessfully be because I am still at the G.D. public library, but the laptop is in the mail:) to edit the "Recognition" post because somewhere in the core of my being I find it revolting to be so interested in finding a mate. It sounds like the kind of nature documentary my sister and I used to enjoy as TV-starved children! "The female frequents public places in hopes of exposing herself to an appropriate mate for nesting and procreation." Gross! Have we not evolved beyond this as human beings? So in addition to being from another planet I now feel like I have another person living within my own skin and doing things I don't approve of. Maybe someone should do a nature documentary on me!
A parent, who knows I am on the prowl for new work, put a book called "What Should I Do With My Life" in my mailbox at school yesterday. It's a collection of stories about people who had that question and how they answered it for themselves. While I don't think I can successfully adopt anyone else's particular path, it does help a)to remember I am not the only person floundering in the ocean of life and b)to ask myself the questions that some of them asked. One particularly interesting fellow who went from teaching sex ed. under pitiful conditions to public high school kids, to (eventually and after much turmoil) starting a bakery, had this inspiring advice: sometimes you've just got to say "F- it!" Well at least I am on the right track! I have indeed said "F- it!" to my job and to basically everything familiar. I am in a surreal state of living my old life while constantly conscious that it will change soon and I have no idea what's coming. I am like an endangered animal who's habitat has just been sold to developers. My life is totally a nature documentary!