Pretzel Girl
Yesterday my nose touched my knee for the first time since I was maybe 9. A glorious reunion was also held between my feet and my forehead. I had not been to yoga in a while, but I definitely reached a new level! At first I was a little pissed that the teacher was not helping me as much as he used to, and then I realized it is possible that I have improved enough that I don't need as much attention! I have also been following a pretty challenging (for me) treadmill regime and doing strength training, both religiously. I have also not eaten refined sugar since, maybe Monday, and I DON'T MISS IT! Those of you who know me know that this is huge. I have been taking an herbal/holistic supplement to help control my blood sugar, that was I guess more out of control than I realized, and it is to this miracle capsule that I give a great portion of the credit for my success.
Why am I on such a fitness kick? I have been dropping small stinging complaints about my weight for months. Over the past 2 years I guess, I have been conducting an important, but not altogether conscious experiment wherein I ate like a college kid, exercised less than a vegetable and built myself a cozy protective layer. In the past I always lost weight effortlessly whenever I was in a relationship, although hindsight illuminates these periods of my life as emotionally berzerk. I kept saying to myself "don't worry about the weight, it always comes off when you're in love" until I realized that that was not a sustainable solution, that I needed to be in deep, true, lasting love with myself if I was to return to a healthier body. As we all know relationships with others that we love need our daily care and attention, and it is no different for self-love. I'm am being hyper vigilant right now because I saw myself becoming unhealthy and didn't like where that path was leading. Its like marriage counseling for the body/soul partnership; I have been doing so much inner work to heal the invisible parts of myself while my visible body was growing in a different direction, literally. The reconciliation is going well and I am excited both about the prospect of fitting into clothes I haven't been able to wear for a year and a half and the way it feels to make loving choices for myself. I mean there is treating yourself to a pint of ice cream and there is treating yourself to longevity and self confidence!
Why am I on such a fitness kick? I have been dropping small stinging complaints about my weight for months. Over the past 2 years I guess, I have been conducting an important, but not altogether conscious experiment wherein I ate like a college kid, exercised less than a vegetable and built myself a cozy protective layer. In the past I always lost weight effortlessly whenever I was in a relationship, although hindsight illuminates these periods of my life as emotionally berzerk. I kept saying to myself "don't worry about the weight, it always comes off when you're in love" until I realized that that was not a sustainable solution, that I needed to be in deep, true, lasting love with myself if I was to return to a healthier body. As we all know relationships with others that we love need our daily care and attention, and it is no different for self-love. I'm am being hyper vigilant right now because I saw myself becoming unhealthy and didn't like where that path was leading. Its like marriage counseling for the body/soul partnership; I have been doing so much inner work to heal the invisible parts of myself while my visible body was growing in a different direction, literally. The reconciliation is going well and I am excited both about the prospect of fitting into clothes I haven't been able to wear for a year and a half and the way it feels to make loving choices for myself. I mean there is treating yourself to a pint of ice cream and there is treating yourself to longevity and self confidence!
posted by Eiren at 10:18 AM
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