Soul Rash

I think part of my lack of blogging material has been due to the fact that I have recently been excited about a plan for 2-3 days only to have it make a hairpin turn and go another direction. Sick of regurgitating the whole tale with no ending, I've stopped talking, although I haven't stopped dreaming.
One of my baby steps towards my independence is that I now have a job. But along with this job comes a fairly constant feeling of humiliation and an eery sense that my life has gone absolutely nowhere since 1998. I am working in the cafe at the local health food store and while my coworkers are pleasant and the work is un-demanding and requires none of the preparation I so loathed in my last career, everyday I stand in front of the community that watched me grow up, in my 33-year-old (and slightly paunchy) body and ask "anything to drink with that?". It would only be worse if I were pressuring them with deep-fried potato products instead of fermented mushrooms and soy. I know, I know, its all in the attitude, but I'm afraid mine isn't very good right now. I am watching friends have the careers, the homes, the babies they've been planning for while I sleep in a twin bed in the middle of what feels like a perpetual yard sale.